Love in a Promise.

“I want us to date... I want us to be more than just friends.” Her words caught me by surprise, leaving me speechless for a moment. Deep down, it was what I wanted. But then again, I didn't feel ready. I smiled. “So the words finally came out, huh?” I said. “That’s supposed to be my line.” “I had to. It seemed like you weren’t going to make the move.” She stared into my eyes, waiting for my answer. “I can’t,” I replied, looking down, knowing that I could probably lose her after this. She smiled. “I had a feeling you’d say something like that.” “Huh? But why?” “I wanted to hear it from your mouth. I’m definitely sure you saw all the signs I gave you, but still, you never pushed yourself to ask.” She paused for a moment. “Am I not good enough for you?” Her voice had become cold and calm. “You’re way better. The best I could ever ask for.” “Then why? Why are you not allowing me into your life?” “I’d be lying to myself if I denied my feelings for you. I love you, really... but I just can’t.” “Don’t tell me you just can’t. There must be a reason why.” “Yes, there is.” “Then tell me. I deserve to know.” Tears began forming in her eyes. I moved closer, drew her into my arms, and gently wiped away the tears that escaped. “I love you, but I’m not ready yet to have you in my life. I’m probably the biggest coward right now, but the truth is... I’m not where I’m supposed to be.” I paused. “I envision a life where I can boldly take care of you without worrying about tomorrow or wondering how tomorrow is going to turn out for us.” “Really? Is that what you’re pushing me away for?” “I can’t bear to be a burden to you if I can’t give you the life you deserve.” “You idiot...” She held my hands tightly. “Do I complain about anything? Do I look like some bitch who wants material things alone? I want love, Alex. I want you. I want to be part of your life and I want you to be part of mine. Don’t you see? I want to build with you, every step of the way.” This was every guy’s dream—to have a woman willing to support him and build with him as he grows. But silently, because of what I had seen from women in my generation, I had made a vow never to date or get married until I was where I had envisioned myself. “Let’s talk for a moment... if you don’t mind,” I said. She simply nodded, waiting for me to speak. “Does a man have the right to bring a woman into his life when he’s not settled?” “If the woman allows him, then yes.” “So you would be okay with me bringing you into my life in my current state?” “Don’t talk like that. I know you’re trying your best to build and rise to the top, but I want to be with you while you do it.” “Then what if it takes me time to achieve it? What if you lose your patience with me? What then? Would you still remember these exact words you’re saying now?” She was quiet for a moment. “My mum once told me that the best thing a woman can offer a man is support. Sex is not a man’s problem, but the support he receives from his partner, even when things are down, is worth gold to him.” She paused before continuing. “Honestly, I don’t know how things would be for us. But what I do know is that I want a future with you in it.” “That’s just your emotions talking at the moment,” I said with a chuckle. “You probably have these intense feelings inside you, and maybe you’re fantasising about me as well. But when those feelings eventually die, would you still look at me the same way?” I looked deeply into her eyes. “Love is sweet. Emotions make it beautiful. But when those feelings are no longer there, will you still be able to stay with the person you once proclaimed to love?” “Guess you have your doubts about love, huh?” I smiled. “Maybe. But I don’t see it as anything.” “But you agreed. You still have feelings for me.” “Yes, I did. But that’s the scary part. If I let these feelings take over, the relationship could end up being based solely on emotions, not what love actually entails.” “Then what does love entail to you?” “Trust. Loyalty. Commitment. Communication. Understanding.” I paused. “Love alone can’t keep a relationship.” “This is one thing I like about you. You’re always being logical about everything.” “The heart and the brain have their specialties. One can lead you to mistakes while the other tries to avoid them.” “But the one who avoids them can still lead you to them,” she replied. “True. But still, it doesn’t let emotions take control.” “Hmm...” She chuckled. “So I’m being rejected by the man I confessed my feelings to.” “Guess I’m not cut out for love,” I replied. “You are. You just aren’t ready to trust your heart to another person.” “Maybe. But still, if I were where I’m supposed to be, I would be the one asking the question.” “Well then, I’ll wait.” “Be serious. You have better things to do with your life.” “Yes, I do. And this is one of them.” She smiled. “Take it as me telling you that what I feel for you isn’t merely an emotion. It’s a decision I choose out of my own free will.” I chuckled. “You always want to have your way.” “I always do.” She laughed. “And one more thing. You’d better make sure you get to the top, because I wouldn’t want to be up there without my future man.” She squeezed my hands. “Because a great man will definitely need a great woman by his side.” And in that moment, I felt a sudden urge to keep her—to hold on to her and prove her words right.