Myself

For the longest time, I hurt myself‎. For the pain you caused, I punished myself. For my lack of control, I belittled myself. For the relief I got, I restrained myself. For the anger I felt, I beat myself. For the tears you caused, I refused to forgive myself. My brain could not think, My mind would not heal, it replayed my "faults" to haunt myself. ‎I find it hard to forgive myself, but "YOU" are not the topic, The topic of my torture is "MYSELF". ‎‎I want to be able to see myself clearly without distortion, Tell myself the truth without confussion. Hold myself accountable without hesitation. ‎Do what I love, not only my obligations. ‎